Welcome to an exciting year-long project here at The Nerdy. 1984 was an exciting year for films giving us a lot of films that would go on to be beloved favorites and cult classics. It was also the start to a major shift in cultural and societal norms, and some of those still reverberate to this day.
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We’re going to pick and choose which movies we hit, but right now the list stands at nearly four dozen.
Yes, we’re insane, but 1984 was that great of a year for film.
The articles will come out – in most cases – on the same day the films hit theaters in 1984 so that it is their true 40th anniversary. All films are also watched again for the purposes of these reviews and are not being done from memory. In some cases, it truly will be the first time we’ve seen them.
This time around, it’s Nov. 16, 1984, and we’re off to see Just the Way You Are, Missing in Action, Night of the Comet, and Night Patrol.
Just the Way You Are
There is no greater problem in the world than wearing a leg brace.
Susan Berlanger (Kristy McNichol) is a flautist in Philadelphia who is tired of men losing interest in her over her leg brace. She comes up with an idea while touring Europe to cover it with a cast and then go to a ski resort where no one will know any different. While there she meets photographer Peter Nichols (Michael Ontkean) who is in a bad relationship. Susan quickly sees that come to an end. Even after the cast comes off, and he has seen the brace, he still has feelings for her and they walk off into the sunset.
The movie is fine, but it is as flimsy as they come. If you told me this was a Hallmark Christmas movie, I would 100% believe you and just move on with my day.
Cute, but ultimately forgettable.
Missing in Action
(This review was originally published in 2019 when I first got this idea for the project. I watched the film again in 2024, and portions of the review have been updated.)
There is a term in film watching called “padding.” It’s when a movie takes far too long, dwelling on a shot to increase the length of the movie. It’s different than, say, a lingering shot to convey an emotion or danger.
Missing in Action may be the most padded film I have ever seen.
Colonel James Braddock (Chuck Norris) is a man haunted by the comrades still being held as P.O.W.s in Vietnam. He is presented with an opportunity to go back and rescue them, and he takes it, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake.
I had never seen this movie because I’ve never been much of a Norris fan. He’s fine; it just was never my cup of tea. Add in this movie, which the Canon Group made, and, yeah, even in the 80s, we knew that meant we were in for a rough ride.
As I watched it this week, I just kept thinking, “How long will this scene be?” Very early in the film, Braddock wakes from a flashback nightmare of his time in Vietnam. He stands and changes the TV channel to Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. The episode of the animated series becomes a narration device for another flashback. After he comes out of the flashback, he walks over to stare at the TV again. The camera then centers on the TV, and… we’re suddenly watching Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends and it just keeps going. No cuts back to him, we just keep watching.
Much later in the film, Braddock returns to his hotel room in Thailand and goes to change his shirt. He is alone in the room, he takes off his shirt, picks up a button-up shirt, puts it on… buttons the buttons… undoes the cuffs on his sleeves… roles them up… gives them a good tuck… AND A MAN LEAPS OUT OF THE CLOSET AND ATTACKS HIM!
Meanwhile, I can not stop thinking about the fact I just watched a man put on a shirt in real-time in silence… in a movie.
This movie was just padded scene after padded scene to reach a whopping running time of 101 minutes. In other words, there was no story here, it was all padding.
I almost recommend watching it so you can join me in wondering how it got two sequels.
Night of the Comet
(This review was originally published in 2019 when I first got this idea for the project. I watched the film again in 2024, and portions of the review have been updated.)
If there is one thing you can say about the films of 1984, it’s that it spawned a lot of cult movies. Shout! Factory specializes in doing special editions of old cult films that may be unloved by their studios. So far in this project, I have watched three films on Shout! Factory releases: Streets of Fire, Silent Night, Deadly Night, and now Night of the Comet.
Earth is passing through the tail of a comet that hasn’t passed Earth in 65 million years. Everyone is treating it like an event to be celebrated only to learn unless you are in a steel room, you’ll be turned to dust. And if you are only partially exposed you’ll still die, but only after being a zombie for a bit. Luckily, sisters Reggie (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Sam (Kelli Maroney) both make it through the night. After teaming up with Hector (Robert Beltran) the trio have to learn how to survive in this new reality of a mostly deserted Los Angeles.
This is a movie I’ve watched a few times over the years, and it never stops being amusing. When you consider this was 1984, it was pretty wise already to the tropes of the decade. From Valley Girls to conspicuous consumption to mall obsessions, it touched on them all. And one has to wonder if this movie played just a tiny part in the creation of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. It’s difficult to not think that Sam (Kelli Maroney) toting a machine gun while wearing a cheerleader uniform isn’t just a tiny bit proto-Buffy.
In a time when the cineplexes were filled with Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Chuck Norris films, an action film with teenage female leads was unusual. You have to tip your hat to them for this movie even making it to the screen.
And it’s fun. Sure, it’s essentially a zombie film with a dose of armageddon and mad scientist tropes thrown in, but it works. It’s different and knows exactly what it is.
If you’ve never seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out. We’re willing to bet you won’t regret it. Although you will need to turn off your brain for a couple glaring plot holes.
Night Patrol
In the late 1970s, a comic called The Unknown Comic appeared everywhere. His gimmick was telling horrible jokes while wearing a paper bag on his head and a horrible leisure suit. I had no idea he had made a movie and… oof.
Melvin White (Murray Langston) is a police officer with dreams of becoming a stand-up comic. The problem is he isn’t allowed to moonlight, so he starts wearing a paper bag on his head so no one will know it’s him. The problem is then someone starts committing crimes wearing a paper bag on their head leading people to believe it’s the Unknown Comic going on a crime spree.
The movie is about as silly as you imagine, but it somehow decided it was a great idea in the final 20 minutes of the film for the two main cops to go undercover in black face. It was certainly a choice.
The movie is horrible, but if you’re not familiar with the Unknown Comic it may be worth checking out just from a historical perspective as he was a huge presence for a while. But do go in expecting the movie is absolutely horrible.
1984 Movie Reviews will return on Nov. 23 with Falling in Love and Supergirl! (Both released on the 21st, but oh well)
